


Robert Sugden's 7 Days of Aaron.

by MissFanficWriter



Series: Robert Sugden's Life in Numbers [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-14 18:41:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5754043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissFanficWriter/pseuds/MissFanficWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert spends 7 days with Aaron at Home Farm while the White's are away. Set from Monday to Sunday, each chapter focuses on the events of a particular day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mondays are for Mechanics and Mix-ups.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this first chapter, I'll be trying to post a new chapter every day. Check out my other fan fiction if you haven't already. Comments and kudos are loved. 
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys the start of Robron week tonight!

As soon as Robert had awoken that monday morning, his first thought had been Aaron. Even as Chrissie stretched and cuddled in to Robert’s side, his arm so easily sliding around her, his thoughts had stayed with the blue eyed, dark haired mechanic. It was finally the day that Aaron would spend a whole week alone with him, with no interruptions from Chrissie or Chas. Robert knew he should feel guilty, but instead he felt like a child on Christmas morning. 

 

Robert slid out of bed, causing Chrissie to moan, “Is it really time to get up?”

 

“Yeah, you don’t want to miss your flight.” Robert said, far too cheerfully, though he hoped Chrissie was too groggy to notice. 

 

Robert showered and dressed quickly, eager to start the day and wave goodbye to Chrissie, Lawrence and Lachlan for the week. He made coffee just the way Chrissie liked it and brought it upstairs to her as she sat at the dressing table, fixing her hair in the mirror. He placed the cup down on the table and leant down to kiss her on the side of her head. 

 

“Oh Robert,” she laughed, batting him away playfully. 

 

Robert smiled at her in the mirror, wrapping his arms around her waist. He stared at their reflections, her dark haired, smiling face next to his blonde haired grinning one. He knew people wouldn’t believe it, but he really did care about Chrissie. They’d had a lot of good times together and while he couldn’t resist the temptation of Aaron, he still knew he would miss Chrissie if he left her. 

 

When they’d met he didn’t have anything, but Chrissie had seen his potential. She knew he was smart, resourceful and very good looking, and she had gladly accepted his invitations to dinner. Quickly allowing him into her heart, her bed and her business. She had trusted him with a lot, as well as the care of her troubled son Lachlan, and Robert was reluctant to lose the only family he had had in a long time. Robert knew Aaron believed that all he cared about was the money, and always one to shy away from expressing his feelings, Robert allowed him to believe this. But in truth, Robert didn’t want to lose his family.. or the money, he was still Robert Sugden after all. 

 

“You’ll have to let me go eventually.” Chrissie said.

 

Robert’s brow furrowed in confusion, as if Chrissie had read his mind. Did she know what Robert had planned? Did she know about Aaron?

 

“You’ll make me miss our flight.” Chrissie laughed, kissing Robert’s cheek.

 

Robert laughed along, squeezing her tightly before letting her go, relief flooding through him. Lately, Robert had begun to prepare himself for being without Chrissie. After what he had told Aaron, he knew he couldn’t stay with Chrissie forever. But it wasn’t ready to lose it all and have to face the judgement of the village knowing he loved a man. He just wanted this one week to spend alone with Aaron to see what life would be like with him.

 

Robert was on his best behaviour throughout the morning, complimenting Chrissie, helping Lawrence put the suitcases in the car, joking around with Lachlan. However Robert was glad to see them drive away in the afternoon and he immediately pulled out his phone to text Aaron. He refrained from sending him a text saying ‘Get over here now’. Although this was how he really felt, he would never allow himself to appear too eager. He settled for writing, ‘Chrissie’s gone.’ and knew that Aaron would be round soon. 

 

Aaron was sitting at the desk in the scrapyard cabin, trying to keep on top of the business’ paperwork, when he felt his phone ring in his pocket. He tried to ignore the way his heart skipped when he saw Robert’s name and opened the message, ‘Chrissie’s gone.’ Aaron rolled his eyes, it wasn’t that he expected Robert to be so openly affectionate but after his declaration of love, a few weeks ago, Aaron had hoped that things would change between them. However it hadn’t, Aaron was still just there for when Robert had managed to get Chrissie out of the way.

 

Although Aaron had been looking forward to spending the week with Robert, he was unsure whether it was the right thing to do. He knew he was hurting Chrissie and even Lachlan with what he was doing, but he couldn’t say no to Robert. He loved him. Even after what had happened with Katie, Aaron still thought about Robert every day. He still wanted to be with him. Aaron shook his head, disgusted at his own weakness, and vowed that he wouldn’t go running to Robert just because Robert had text him. He would make him wait, just as Aaron had waited, alone, each night.

 

Hours after contacting Aaron, Robert had begun to feel annoyance creeping in. Why wasn't Aaron here? Robert thought. He’s wasting our first day together. Robert had filled his day with menial tasks, tidying the house, changing the sheets. Robert wanted this time to be different, he didn’t want to sleep with Aaron on the same sheets he had shared with Chrissie. However as the hours passed Robert began to wonder if he would be sleeping with Aaron at all this week. Grabbing his coat, he left the house to find him.

 

Robert found Aaron at the scrapyard and rolled his eyes, moving junk wasn’t more important than being with him. 

 

“Where’ve you been? I text you.” Robert said.

 

Aaron shrugged, “Some of us do have to work, Robert.”

 

Robert watched him, his anger building. However he calmly took a deep breath. He didn’t want to start a fight and risk losing a whole week alone with Aaron. He knew a few carefully placed words would be enough to persuade Aaron. He knew how insecure Aaron could be.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Robert asked, pulling Aaron round to face him.

 

“Nothing, I have to finish this. Unless you want to fire me and watch me go working back as a mechanic. Get me out of your way.” Aaron tried to say nonchalantly, but he knew Robert could tell he cared.

 

“Why would I want you out of the way? Although you know I liked you in those mechanic’s overalls.” Robert smirked.

 

Aaron shook his head but he couldn’t hide the small smile that spread across his face. It seemed so easy when they were alone like this. Making little jokes, slightly touching each other, teasing each other. But when you really thought about it, that’s when it went bad. Thinking about Chrissie and Katie. Robert could see Aaron pulling away from him and he was determined not to let that happen.

 

“Aaron, I really want to spend this week with you.” Robert felt uncomfortable being so open but he knew he had to try harder for Aaron.

 

“A quickie in Chrissie’s bed, eh?” Aaron said, turning away.

 

Robert shook his head, willing Aaron to understand. Taking his hand he looked at him closely. “No, just you and me, all week.”

 

Aaron’s heart pounded in his chest as Robert looked at him. He always looked so calm but just now Aaron could see the desperation and longing in his eyes, he wanted Aaron and Aaron wanted him too, even though he knew it was wrong. Leaning forward Robert pressed his lips lightly against Aaron’s, softly biting Aaron’s bottom lip. He heard Aaron moan and reached up to wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him towards him. They stayed like that, both lost in the moment. A rare wave of gentleness, in a sea of rushed kisses and caresses. 

 

Robert rested his head against Aaron’s, both breathing heavy. “Will you stay with me?”

 

Aaron nodded, he wanted to pull Robert in to the cabin to have sex passionately against the desk. But he also wanted this; the slowness, the love. It was not often they had the time to enjoy every touch. 

 

Aaron prised himself out of Robert’s embrace, reluctantly. “I’ll tidy up here and meet you there.”

 

Robert nodded, smiling and pressed a chaste kiss against Aaron’s mouth before leaving, his heart beating rapidly at the thought of what was to come.

 

Robert fidgeted at home, moving from the sofa to the kitchen, trying to pass the time. He had left the scrapyard feeling excited for Aaron’s arrival. However his excitement had soon turned to impatience. He was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted it. He didn’t have much experience at waiting. Hearing a knock at the door, Robert quickly opened it and had to stop himself from pulling Aaron inside.

 

Robert stared at him and Aaron felt uncomfortable under Robert’s intense stare. He could feel Robert’s eyes passing over every part of him, mentally undressing him. Aaron held out the coffee’s he had in his hands.

 

“Got you a coffee.” Aaron said, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

 

Robert reached out and took the coffee, letting his fingers brush against Aaron’s, both of them feeling the instant electricity.

 

Moving in to the house, Robert watched Aaron drink from his cup, his perfect mouth placed carefully around the rim. Suddenly he was surprised by Robert’s mouth quickly capturing his own, Robert unable to resist for much longer. However Aaron gently pushed him away.

 

“Drink your coffee before it gets cold.” Aaron laughed awkwardly, moving away to look around the house.

 

It was so big and Robert could tell that Aaron felt uncomfortable here. He guessed he was thinking about Chrissie and he was right. As Aaron looked around the living room, all he could picture was Robert kissing Chrissie, Robert playing X-Box with Lachlan, Robert eating breakfast with Lawrence. Aaron didn’t belong here. 

 

He wanted to leave but he didn’t want to leave Robert, so he stayed, uncomfortably. He turned around and looked at Robert, just in time to see him spit his coffee out across the wooden floor.

 

“Bloody hell Aaron, what’s that?” Robert asked looking at his coffee suspiciously.

 

“An americano, your favourite.” Aaron frowned, annoyed at himself for knowing Robert’s favourite drink.

 

“That’s not an americano. It’s more like a latte or a cappuccino maybe.” Robert said. “Maybe you’ve got my drink.”

 

Robert reached over to take Aaron’s drink just as Aaron moved it out of his reach. “No, this is mine. Maybe you’re just not used to Bob’s cheap americano’s.” Aaron said bitterly. 

 

“No, I’m sure there’s just been a mix up and you’ve got my drink.” Robert said, impatiently holding out his hand for Aaron’s drink.

 

Aaron was sure Bob had just made the wrong drink’s order, however he didn’t want to give Robert the satisfaction of knowing he had ordered two americano’s. Aaron had taken to ordering Robert’s drink for himself, because it tasted like him and reminded Aaron of their kisses. He quickly drank the last of his coffee and shrugged at Robert.

 

“Sorry, mate, it’s gone now.”

 

Robert looked at Aaron, amused by his childishness. It was usually Robert who had to get his own way. Moving closer to Aaron, Robert could see his effect on the young man before him. The way he bit his lip nervously, Robert had never seen anything so sexy before. He reached out his hand and placed it upon Aaron’s cheek. Aaron’s lips parted, his breath heavy and uneven. Leaning down, Robert kissed Aaron, sliding his tongue quickly into Aaron’s welcoming mouth. Aaron reacted quickly, bringing his hands up to pull Robert closer to him. However Robert stopped just as soon as he had started and moved his mouth against Aaron’s jaw, planting feathery, light kisses until he reached Aaron’s ear.

 

“You taste like an americano.” Robert whispered.

 

Aaron snorted, and Robert looked at him grinning. Laughing, Aaron pressed his lips against Robert’s and allowed himself to be pulled on to the sofa, Robert lying heavily on top of him. As he kissed Robert, Robert’s hands already starting to move under his t-shirt, Aaron knew that tonight would not be the night they made love, slowly and meaningfully. But he also knew it wouldn’t be quick and rushed. Tonight, it would just be fun.


	2. Tuesdays are for Teasing and Testing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seeing Adam in the cafe, could he ruin Robert and Aaron's second day together? Or will Aaron and Robert's own insecurities ruin it for them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this a bit early because I won't have time tomorrow. Thank you for the kudos, comments are appreciated too. 
> 
> Hope you like it!

Aaron listlessly turned over and felt for Robert next to him. He had had a restless night. It wasn’t Robert, everything had been so good between them. They’d had sex countless times during their first day and night together, in between eating and laughing. Aaron was unsure whether he could keep up, however one thought of Robert and he knew he would give him anything he wanted. It was the bed that made him uncomfortable, the softest pillows and Egyptian sheets couldn’t soothe Aaron’s mind of thoughts of Robert with Chrissie in this bed. Therefore he had tossed and turned all night, only managing to fall asleep when Robert had wrapped his arms around him and sleepily whispered, “It’s okay, I’m here.”

 

However as Aaron reached across the bed for Robert, he had to admit defeat and finally open his eyes to see Robert’s part of the bed empty. Aaron’s heart dropped, although he tried to shrug off his disappointment. He had thought that they would wake up together, for the first time, without Robert having to rush off to some prior engagement. Aaron punched his fist in to one of the pillows, cursing himself for being so stupid.

 

“Hey, what did the pillow do?” Robert asked, amusement clear in his voice.

 

Aaron looked up at Robert, he was already showered and dressed and was holding a cup and plate in his hands. Feeling embarrassed at his outburst of emotions, Aaron started to get out of the bed.

 

“Wait, I made you coffee and toast.” Robert said, uncertainly holding them out to Aaron.

 

This was new to Robert. He had made Chrissie breakfast in bed before but only when he wanted something or because he felt guilty. He had never done it just to simply make someone happy. His own embarrassment made him feel silly as if he had made a mistake. 

 

Robert quickly shrugged his shoulders, “Sorry, you don’t have to have it. I just wanted to do something.”

 

Aaron took the plate from him, understanding Robert’s embarrassment. Everything about their relationship had been quick and physical up until this point. Seeing Robert like this only made Aaron long to be with him properly though. Robert sat down on the side of the bed next to him and silently drank his coffee as he watched Aaron eat.

 

Aaron, uncomfortable with being watched so carefully, broke the silence. “So you make a good little husband, breakfast in bed, eh? Was I that good last night?”

 

Robert grinned, he knew Aaron was teasing but he also noted the underlying note of insecurity, Aaron’s need for reassurance. “You were okay.”

 

“Just okay, eh? Maybe you need me to show you again.” Aaron joked, leaning over to kiss Robert’s lips before moving lower to kiss his neck, his teeth lightly marking Robert as his own. 

 

Robert liked this side of Aaron, when he was more confident and comfortable initiating their contact. Therefore he was reluctant to push him away, although he eventually did.

 

“Later.” Robert said, giving Aaron one last kiss.

 

Aaron began to feel stupid for his display of affection, his hurt already seeping in from Robert’s rejection. However he had no reason to worry as Robert pulled him out of the bed, arms wrapping around his waist, their bodies pressed together.

 

“Get ready, we’re going out.” Robert whispered, his fingers drawing small circles against Aaron’s hip.

 

“Where?” Aaron breathed heavily, as his eyes closed and he melted in to Robert’s touch.

 

“To the cafe. Bob’s got to answer for that terrible coffee mix up.” Robert laughed in his superior way, leaving Aaron longing for more as he left him to get ready.

 

“Robert.” Aaron groaned as Robert left him. 

 

Walking to the cafe together was something normal couples did and that was what Robert wanted to experience. He wanted to see what it would be like if he was with Aaron and he wanted Aaron to know that they were more than just what happened in the bedroom (or barn for that matter). As they walked, Robert let his hand brush against Aaron’s, both of them sharing secret smiles as it happened. 

 

“You’re not really going to shout at Bob, are ya? It was just a mistake, Robert.” Aaron said, shaking his head.

 

“Of course I am, you can’t go around making mistakes like that. People get complacent if you let them get away with it.” Robert smirked.

 

Aaron rolled his eyes, amused at Robert’s behaviour, although he hoped he wasn’t serious. With Robert though, you could never be too sure. Suddenly an idea came to him.

 

“If you ask Bob, he’ll know I was buying the coffee for you. Might start people talking.” Aaron said, carefully watching Robert’s reaction from his peripheral vision.

 

Robert knew Aaron was testing him, waiting for his outrage and disgust at people finding out about them but more and more lately he had started to wonder to himself what people’s reactions to him and Aaron would be. 

 

“Let’s give them something to talk about.” Robert joked, entwining his fingers with Aaron’s, holding tight as Aaron tried to pull away.

 

“What are you doing?” Aaron hissed.

 

“Just messing about.” Robert said, but as he gently rubbed the back of Aaron’s hand with his thumb they both knew it was more than that.

 

Although they were walking along a deserted road, it still felt like a momentous moment for the two.

 

“Is this what you want?” Robert asked, looking at Aaron with a strange look upon his face.

 

Aaron knew by the look in Robert’s eyes that he meant so much by that question. He meant did Aaron want everyone to know that they were together? Aaron shrugged his shoulders, as his heart screamed yes. He still found it hard to trust Robert though and he didn’t want to leave himself open for more of Robert’s ridicule.

 

Robert was rather surprised by how hurt he was by Aaron’s answer. Everything was so uncertain with Aaron; how they both felt, what the rest of the village would think. But with Chrissie came certainty; a job, a home, money. He didn’t want to lose that for something Aaron may just lose interest in, he was still young after all and didn't know his own heart as well as Robert knew his.

 

Aaron knew straight away he had given the wrong answer as he felt Robert letting go of his hand and his hard exterior making its first appearance since yesterday. As Robert kept walking, Aaron felt a wave of anger crashing over him. It wasn’t fair for Robert to make him feel guilty, Robert knew how he felt. It was he, Aaron, who constantly had to guess and hope that he meant something to Robert.

 

Aaron rushed to keep pace with Robert and stormed past him, his shoulder pushing hard against Robert’s. “You know it’s what I want.”

 

Aaron planned to walk away, to the scrapyard or the pub, but he was stopped by Robert’s hand sliding in to his and pulling him back. “Let’s not fight, okay?”

 

Looking in to Robert’s eyes, Aaron could see the sincerity there and he felt himself nodding.

 

Robert grinned and pressed a kiss quickly against Aaron’s mouth. He had done this to show Aaron how much he cared, to kiss him in public when he had so much to lose. However Aaron had not missed the way his eyes darted to each side before kissing him, to make sure they were truly alone, unnoticed. Not wanting to ruin their time together, Aaron smiled before letting go of Robert’s hand and the two men walked on, together, to the cafe, looking like no more than business associates. 

 

“Two americanos, please Bob. And make sure you don’t get them wrong.” Robert said.

 

Bob’s brow furrowed in confusion, but he settled with a nod and rushed off to make the drinks, shooting Adam a big smile as he entered the cafe. 

 

“What’s this? A business meeting without me?” Adam asked, eyeing Robert and Aaron standing together at the counter. 

 

Aaron glanced over at Robert and noticed how he discreetly put more distance between them, standing up taller as he did. 

 

“Just checking up on my investment. It’s allowed, isn’t it?” Robert snapped.

 

Adam shared a glance with Aaron, raising his eyebrows. “Yeah, well we can show you the monthly accounts if you like. They’re back at the scrapyard. I’ve actually had a call about a bit of a job, late notice. So we both best be going, Aaron.”

 

Robert looked at Aaron, trying to hide his panicked expression. As Adam turned to order a cup of tea to go, Robert motioned to Aaron to join him a few paces away.

 

“Make an excuse.” Robert demanded.

 

Aaron shrugged, desperately trying to invent an excuse to give Adam. However his time was up as Adam took his tea and left the cafe, looking back to ensure Aaron was following him. Aaron glanced at Robert before he left, he looked angry.

 

“Don’t forget your coffee.” Robert snarled.

 

“Don’t be like that, Robert.” Aaron whispered.

 

Robert shrugged and turned back to his americano, refusing to meet Aaron’s eye. Aaron had no choice but to follow Adam to the scrapyard, leaving Robert to sulk.

 

Aaron had meant to text Robert to check up on him but once he had started working he hadn’t had a moment to spare. He arrived back at Home Farm, late and tired. However as soon as he walked in, he knew Robert wasn't happy.

 

“Hey.” Aaron said tentatively.

 

Robert grumbled, refusing to speak to Aaron. Angry that he had left him in the cafe and wasted their day together. 

 

“Robert, I had to go. What excuse could I have given? Sorry mate, but I can’t work today, too busy sleeping with the boss.” Aaron joked.

 

He had hoped to make Robert laugh but Robert didn’t so much as smile. Aaron sat down next to Robert, he wasn’t used to Robert giving him the silent treatment.

 

“Didn’t have to stay so late, did you? Bet you and Adam had a great day, laughing at me sat here. I only stayed for you.” Robert fumed.

 

The phrase hung heavy in the air, ‘I only stayed for you’. Aaron watched Robert press his hand against his head, embarrassed at his outburst. However Aaron felt himself smile, those were the kind of things Aaron wanted to hear from Robert. They were the things that kept him together when he was alone at night without him. ‘Don’t make me think I feel for a quitter’, ‘I love you and I can’t watch you suffer’, ‘I only stayed for you’. All of those things made it worthwhile to Aaron, they made up for the bad things Robert had done. 

 

“Are you jealous of me spending time with Adam?” Aaron teased, trying to diffuse the tension between them.

 

Robert shook his head and made to stand up but stopped when Aaron squeezed his knee.

 

“You know I love you.” Aaron said, trying to sound as if it wasn’t a big deal.

 

Robert knew better though, he knew this was another test. He watched Aaron staring down at the floor and knew that he had put his heart on the line saying those three words. He wouldn’t let him down, not this time.

 

“I love you too.” Robert whispered and as Aaron kissed him hard, Robert allowed himself a secret smile, knowing he had passed with flying colours.


	3. Wednesdays are for Washing and Wishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert attempts to persuade Aaron to help him tidy up, will Aaron agree?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't as long as I had hoped, but I've been very busy today so I'm pleased to be posting something. Warning: mentions of Aaron's self harm.  
> Hope you enjoy. Leave comments and kudos to show your love!

“It’s so untidy here.” Robert said, surveying the room from the sofa, where he and Aaron had spent the morning playing video games.

 

Aaron looked around, his eyes casually skimming over the empty beer cans and take out pizza boxes. He shrugged his shoulders, “It looks okay to me.”

 

Robert shook his head, exasperated, and stood up to begin moving the rubbish in to the bin. However as soon as he began, he felt a hand pulling him back down on to the sofa and Aaron’s mouth immediately upon his. As they kissed, Aaron’s hands sliding down Robert’s body and stopping at the top of his jeans, Robert tried to enjoy it but he could not get the thought of the mess out of his head. He gently pushed Aaron away.

 

“Let’s clean up and then we can have sex, okay?” Robert said.

 

Aaron rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help smiling at Robert’s need for tidiness. He casually put his feet up on the coffee table just to see how Robert would react. He could feel Robert’s eyes upon his feet, willing him to put them down. Robert tried to refrain from saying anything, however he was overwhelmed by his need for things to be in their place.

 

“Aaron, put your shoes down off the table and tidy.” Robert demanded.

 

“Or what?” Aaron smirked.

 

Robert frowned, smirking was suppose to be his thing. Looking at Aaron, Robert pulled off his t- shirt, immediately feeling Aaron’s eyes looking down at his toned chest, before leaning forward and kissing Aaron. 

 

Pulling back, Robert said “If you don’t tidy then no more kissing.”

 

Aaron groaned as Robert pulled his t-shirt back on, his smirk back upon his face where it belonged. 

 

Robert laughed, “You can’t be this messy when we live together.”

 

The pair froze as the weight of what Robert had said fell upon them. Robert wanted to leave the room to avoid Aaron’s gaze but part of him also wanted to kiss Aaron and tell him that he wanted them to live together one day. His feelings for Aaron were becoming more and more confusing every day, especially now that they were spending so much time together.

 

“Oh yeah? And is that what you want?” Aaron asked, picking at a thread in one of the pillows, avoiding Robert’s stare.

 

Robert felt himself nodding. When he was alone with Aaron, it was easy to admit his feelings to himself. Everything felt right when he was with Aaron.

 

“Yeah I do.” Robert said, matter-of-factly. 

 

Aaron could not stop the smile that spread across his face at Robert’s words. Although a small part of his heart still begged him to be careful with Robert, that part was too small to make Aaron listen.

 

“With a dog?” Aaron joked, nudging his knee against Robert’s.

 

Robert smiled, glad for the lighter atmosphere. “Too messy, maybe a fish.”

 

“Okay, a fish. What about furniture?”

 

“The biggest bed money can buy, of course.” Robert smirked.

 

“Oh, so you’re going to buy everything?” Aaron teased, pulling Robert towards him.

 

“Well we need a big bed to make love every night.” Robert whispered, kissing Aaron. “All night.”

 

Aaron’s heart thudded as Robert spoke of them making love and as they moved towards the bedroom, Aaron reached up to Robert’s ear and whispered, “This is exactly what I wish for every night.”

 

“Wash or dry?” Robert asked Aaron, holding out the towel to him. 

 

After spending hours back in bed Robert had finally convinced Aaron to help him tidy up the house. Although Aaron was not as enthusiastic as Robert had hoped, Robert was not willing to let him off the hook. It also secretly pleased Robert to be acting like a normal couple with Aaron and he found himself warming to the idea of telling everyone about their relationship.

 

Aaron grunted, grabbing the towel.

 

“Stop being such a baby, it’ll be done quicker with two of us. Then I’ll take you out for a drink, how about that?” Robert suggested, picking up a particularly dirty plate, marked with leftover pizza and ketchup. 

 

“Not the pub, mate.” 

 

“Then how about Bar West?” Robert said, glancing at Aaron.

 

“You serious? You hate that place.” Aaron said, chuckling.

 

“It wasn’t so bad. Anyway I’ll go to make you happy.” 

 

Robert felt Aaron kiss him on the cheek and smiled, happier than he had been in a long time. In that moment Robert knew that leaving Chrissie was the right thing to do, he belonged with Aaron. They were soul mates.

 

“I’m going to tell her, you know?” Robert said, washing the china cups carefully under the water. 

 

Robert could feel Aaron watching him closely, weighing up whether to believe in him. He understood Aaron’s doubt, he had let him down so many times before. Aaron had no reason to believe him, but he couldn’t stop his heart and hope from blossoming.

 

“Yeah?” Aaron asked, tentatively. 

 

“This is what I want. Me and you, together.” Robert said.

 

Aaron’s hand reached out to hold Robert’s under the water, stroking his thumb across the back of his hand. The air stilled as they both thought of the way things would be once their relationship was revealed to the village. Robert knew Chrissie would hate him, divorce him and leave him with nothing. Aaron knew Chas and Paddy would be angry with him, ask him how stupid he could be for taking Robert back in to his heart and in to his bed. Robert could only imagine the judgement of the rest of the village, he still felt uncomfortable admitting whether he was bisexual or gay. All he was able to admit was that he loved Aaron, he didn’t want to think any further than that just yet.

 

Aaron, on the other hand, had been through so much coming to terms with his sexuality, and he would be glad for things to be out in the open regardless of what the rest of the village thought about their relationship. Aaron was a romantic at heart and he truly believed that Robert and he could survive anything if they were together, as long as Robert accepted who he was.

 

“Let’s finish this.” Robert said, passing Aaron a plate to dry, accidentally spraying him with water.

 

“Hey!” Aaron shouted, as the water soaked through his t-shirt, showing off his toned physique.

 

Robert laughed, looking at Aaron, “Only a bit of water.”

 

Aaron glared at him until Robert pulled him closer and whispered in his ear, “Best get you out of those wet clothes.”

 

“Robert, don’t..” Aaron started.

 

However Robert had already pulled Aaron’s t-shirt above his head revealing Aaron’s scars. Robert knew Aaron was reluctant to show his scars, and often only undressed fully under the cover of darkness. As the two men stood together, in the bright light of the kitchen, Robert could see waves of emotion crossing Aaron’s face. Shame, embarrassment, hurt. Robert reached up to place his fingers under Aaron’s chin, forcing Aaron to look at him. He softly kissed Aaron’s lips, gently stroking his cheek. Keeping his eyes locked with Aaron’s, Robert moved his hand down lower until he reached Aaron’s scars. Lightly, he traced his fingertips over each scar, watching as Aaron closed his eyes, a single tear trickling down his face. Robert leaned forward kissing the tear away.

 

“Your scars are a part of you Aaron, and I love you. I love every part of you. I hate that you felt that you had to hurt yourself but I promise that I’m always here for you. You don’t ever have to go through that alone.” Robert murmured. 

 

As Robert wrapped his arms around Aaron, Aaron felt his tears coming thicker and faster and allowed himself to be held in Robert’s arms, comforted by the man he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will take place at Bar West. Let me know in the comments if you'd like the chapter to feature jealous Aaron or jealous Robert.


	4. Thursdays are for Tequilas and Tempers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Robert and Aaron's date at Bar West turn out? Will Aaron's jealousy get the better of him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that voted in the comments, jealous Aaron won!  
> I've been super busy with university and trying to get a new chapter posted every day, so it's really lovely to read your comments and see that people are enjoying this fic.  
> All your kudos and comments are greatly loved and appreciated.  
> Let me know if you enjoy this chapter in the comments and let me know your ideas for the title of the next chapter: 'Fridays are for ..... and .....'?

“The blue one or the pink one?” Robert asked, holding out two button down shirts for Aaron’s opinion.

 

Aaron glanced at them, casually shrugging, as he zipped up his black hoodie. “Either.”

 

“Aaron, seriously, which one?” Robert asked, infuriated by Aaron’s lack of interest in what he wore. “Or would you prefer me to where none?”

 

The question posed by Robert managed to gain Aaron’s interest as he smiled and finally looked at Robert. “Do you really have to ask?”

 

Robert laughed, sliding his arms in to the blue shirt, carefully tucking it in to his jeans. He glanced at Aaron, smiling at the difference between them. Robert was tall, blonde and always looked so well put together and smart. On the other hand was Aaron, shorter, dark haired and always dressed in the same outfit; black jeans, a black t-shirt and a black hoodie. Robert shook his head at Aaron’s lack of style, smoothing the creases out of his expensive shirt. 

 

“Can we go yet?” Aaron asked sitting on the bed, watching Robert as he dressed.

 

Robert shook his head, carefully applying gel to his hair, aiming for the ‘I just woke up this hot’ look. Aaron rolled his eyes, quickly fixing his own hair in seconds. Impatiently fidgeting, his knee jerking up and down, Aaron looked at his watch. Robert had been getting ready for the past 40 minutes.

 

“Mate, hurry up.” Aaron shouted to Robert, who had moved to the bathroom.

 

Coming back in to the bedroom, Robert smiled. “You don’t like it when I look this good?”

 

Aaron shook his head smiling, “You look alright.”

 

“Just alright?” Robert pouted.

 

Aaron stood up and moved towards him, sliding his arms around Robert’s waist and pulling him closer. “You know you look gorgeous, and that I can’t resist you. Even if you do take unbelievably long to get ready.”

 

Robert laughed, lightly kissing Aaron on the head before grabbing his jacket. “Okay, let’s go.”

 

As they entered Bar West, Robert immediately felt uncomfortable, his insecurities seeping back in to his head and heart. He felt Aaron glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, anticipating his reaction after the last time they had been here. Robert discreetly wiped his sweating palms against his jeans and plastered a fake smile upon his face, desperate to please Aaron.

 

“We can go somewhere else if you want?” Aaron whispered.

 

Robert shook his head, touched that Aaron was so aware of his feelings. He knew he had to at least try for Aaron’s sake. Aaron reached out and took his hand.

 

“You go and sit down, I’ll get us some beers.” Aaron said.

 

He waited for Robert to nod before letting go of his hand and moving away towards the bar. The place was crowded with a variety of different men, some tall, some shorter. He casually leant against the bar, waiting to be served. As Aaron waited, he glanced across the bar, searching for Robert amongst the crowd. He spotted him sat in the corner, his fingers drumming against the table, nervously. Aaron grinned to himself unable to believe that the best looking man in the room was here with him. He knew that Robert felt uncomfortable here, still unable to allow others to know that he was attracted to men. However Aaron was pleased that Robert had made the effort to come here, it showed that for once he was putting Aaron before himself.

 

As he watched Robert from across the room, he became aware of a man approaching him. He sat down across from Robert, his suit screaming ‘expensive’ even from this distance. As he greeted Robert, he passed him a shot glass, both of them downing the drink in one. Aaron noticed Robert smiling and beginning to talk animatedly, finally seeming more at ease for the first time since entering the bar. Aaron’s skin seemed to burn with jealousy as he saw Robert’s head tilt back laughing, his perfect, sharp jaw line seeming so irresistible to the eye. Aaron watched as the man leant forward, his hand lightly resting on Robert’s arm. Quickly ordering two beers, Aaron stormed over to Robert angrily.

 

“Alright?” he asked, stiffly, sitting down next to Robert.

 

“Hi.” the man said, raising his hand in greeting to Aaron, a smile upon his face.

 

Up close, Aaron could appreciate the man’s good looks. Highlighted, slightly messy hair, an expensive watch showing just under his shirt sleeve. Just Robert’s type, Aaron thought bitterly.

 

“Hey, this is..” Robert started before Aaron interrupted him.

 

“Actually we’re together and we were hoping to be alone.” Aaron said, placing his hand on Robert’s knee before moving it higher.

 

The man quickly nodded, saying his goodbyes before leaving. Robert pushed Aaron’s hand away, outraged. 

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Robert demanded.

 

“Me? You’re the one drinking tequila with a stranger and practically kissing him right in front of me.” Aaron snarled.

 

“Seriously? He was a client, Aaron. And now he’s going to go back and tell Chrissie about this. Just another thing for me to have to sort out.” Robert sighed.

 

“Worried about Chrissie, eh?” Aaron scowled, slouching down in his seat, avoiding Robert’s gaze. He didn’t want to hear the truth.

 

“Aaron look at me. I’m sitting here in a gay bar, which makes me so uncomfortable, but I’m here, for you. What more can I do to prove that I care?” Robert shouted.

 

Aaron was aware of the stares from other inhabitants of the bar and fought the urge to shout back at Robert. “How the hell am I suppose to trust you after everything you’ve done?”

 

Robert looked shocked, as if Aaron had slapped him. “I thought we were beyond this. I thought we were moving forward.”

 

When Aaron didn’t reply Robert leant forward, placing his hand on Aaron’s knee. His heart pounding at the mere act of being so openly affectionate towards Aaron. His breath shuddered as he pressed his lips against Aaron’s. Pulling back, Robert looked at him, “I’m trying Aaron, just give me break, okay? It’s going to take time for me to be okay with this. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

 

Aaron took a deep breath, tired of Robert’s empty promises and frustrated with how every man in the room seemed to be staring at Robert, mentally undressing him. Aaron knew they were all thinking about how Robert looked in the throes of passion, his hair ruffled, his mouth, open and panting. He didn’t want anyone else to know that side of Robert.

 

“Kiss me.” Aaron demanded. 

 

Robert smiled, but Aaron noticed the slight shake of his mouth and the dart of his eyes as he fought the urge to run from this. Aaron knew he was being harsh, pushing Robert too far just because he was jealous. It wasn’t fair but it’s what he needed. Aaron watched Robert, waiting for him to make the first move. After a few moments, Aaron grabbed Robert by the collar and pulled him towards him, their mouths crashing together. Robert seemed reluctant at first but after a few seconds he wound his arms around Aaron’s neck, moaning in to their kiss. 

 

Robert shivered, Aaron had never been like this before, so in control. He felt Aaron’s lips moving towards his neck, kissing him, licking him. Robert knew they should stop, he was sure more than a few eyes must have been drawn to their obvious display of affection but he couldn’t convince himself to push Aaron away. It felt too good. 

 

“Do you want me to stop?” Aaron whispered into Robert’s ear.

 

Robert shook his head, his eyes closed and his head tilted back to give Aaron better access to his neck.

 

“Say it.” Aaron ordered.

 

“Please don’t stop.” Robert begged, every nerve awakening inside him, all screaming for Aaron’s touch.

 

“Why do you want me?” Aaron asked, planting wet kisses along Robert’s jaw, stopping just before his mouth. 

 

“Because I love you, Aaron, I love you more than anything.” Robert moaned, feeling Aaron’s hand under his shirt.

 

Aaron kissed Robert, long and hard, before moving away. “I’ll get us a taxi, let’s go back.”

 

Robert nodded, trying to calm his breathing and stop himself from pulling Aaron back towards him. He was a grown man, he could wait till he got home, at least he hoped he could. As he watched Aaron move out of the bar, the client from earlier approached him.

 

“Things looked pretty heavy there.” he laughed.

 

Robert laughed along, embarrassed but proud that Aaron was all his. “Yeah, I guess so.”

 

“What happened to Chrissie?” he asked, interested.

 

“Dave, can we keep this between us? I haven’t found the right way to tell Chrissie yet.” Robert asked quietly.

 

Dave nodded, “Say no more, this’ll be our secret. I remember my meetings with the White’s and you never did look too happy back then Robert, but with him you look happier than I’ve ever seen you. Don’t let that go, okay?” 

 

Robert smiled, nodding at Dave, clasping his hand in understanding, thanks and friendship.

 

As Aaron entered the bar after managing to find a taxi outside, his eyes immediately fell upon Robert with the man from earlier. His heart broke as he noticed their hands interlinked. Locking eyes with Robert from across the room, Aaron turned and strode out of the bar. As he walked he heard Robert shouting his name from behind him. Finally Robert caught up with him, grabbing his arm to stop him.

 

“Aaron, what’s wrong?” Robert said, breathlessly.

 

“I leave you alone for two minutes and you can’t help yourself, all over someone else.” Aaron shouted, all of his insecurities pouring out of him.

 

“Aaron, don’t be ridiculous. It wasn’t like that.” Robert tried to explain.

 

“I don’t believe a word you say Robert, all you do is hurt me, over and over again.” Aaron shouted, pushing Robert away from him.

 

Robert stumbled before managing to steady himself. “Come on, let’s go home.”

 

“But it’s not our home, is it Robert? It’s your home with Chrissie. Your perfect family, which I don’t belong too. You’ll use me again and again and then just leave me, in pieces. You’ll say the same excuses and I’ll let you because I can’t imagine being without you. But I deserve better than that. I deserve someone who loves me.” Aaron screamed, tears spilling down his face.

 

Robert watched Aaron, pouring his heart out on the side of the road. He longed to hold him and tell him that he loved him. He loved him more than he ever thought he could love someone. But as he watched Aaron crying, he knew that his words were true. Aaron deserved someone better, someone who didn’t hide him away. Someone who could shout about their love for him. Robert wasn’t ready to be that person. Although he felt it in his heart, he wasn’t able to tell everyone yet. Letting him go was the right thing to do. He forced himself to nod.

 

“You’re right, Aaron.” Robert whispered.

 

Aaron stared down at the floor, his heartbreak written all over his face as he roughly wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Turning, Aaron walked away, every part of him feeling broken, as if he could never be fixed again.

 

And as Robert watched his love walk away from him, he felt himself grow hard and cold, as if Aaron had ripped his beating heart from his chest and taken it away with him.


	5. Fridays are for Fighting and Forgiveness.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their fight at Bar West, can Robert convince Aaron that he truly loves him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos. Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know in the comments if you enjoy me updating a new chapter everyday? Or if you'd prefer updates every few days?

Robert had made his way home alone that night, walking along the deserted roads to help clear his head. His thoughts were full of Aaron. Aaron lying next to him in bed, their fingers entwined. Aaron laughing at him across the table, as they ate. Aaron’s face just before Robert kissed him, eyes closed, peaceful, content. Every part of Robert ached to be near him, to be close to him. It was like a physical force urging him to be with Aaron. But Robert couldn’t change who he was, so he reluctantly arrived home, alone. 

 

Walking in to the kitchen, he poured himself a glass of water, remembering how they had washed the dishes together. Remembering how he had traced his fingers over Aaron’s scars, promising that he would never hurt him again. Robert felt a sharp pain in his chest and knew that his heart had shattered in to a thousand pieces.

 

Robert had never believed himself to be capable of true love, but that’s what Aaron had done to him. He had shown Robert what true love could be and then he had taken it away. People said it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. But as Robert crumbled to the floor, head in his hands, he wished that he had never met Aaron. He wished he hadn’t given his heart to him. Most of all he just wished that Aaron was here, in his arms.

 

Meanwhile at the pub, Aaron had arrived home, quietly sneaking in so he didn’t wake Chas. He couldn’t bear to answer her questions about his whereabouts over the last few days, not when his heart hurt so much. He quickly walked upstairs, slipping in to his bedroom. Pulling back the covers, he climbed in to bed, pressing his face in to the pillows to silence his tears. Aaron allowed himself to cry. He had known he shouldn’t trust Robert, but he loved him. His heart and head were full of Robert. Robert’s smirk whenever he said something. The way Robert’s face looked so peaceful and happy when they fell to sleep after making love. Robert’s eyes, so sincere when he told him that he loved him.

 

His hurt turned to anger as his thoughts flashed back to the events of that night. How could Robert flirt with another man in front of him? He knew how much it hurt Aaron to see him with Chrissie, how could he allow Aaron to see him like that with another man? Wiping his eyes with his hands, Aaron tried to steady his breathing. However as more tears poured down his face, he knew he was in for another long, lonely night without the man he loved.

 

Robert had spent the night tossing and turning and as he woke up his head throbbed from his restless sleep. He turned to the side, staring at the empty side of the bed where Aaron had lay for the past few nights. He closed his eyes, wishing to just lay in bed for the rest of his life, heartbroken. However he forced himself to sit up, rubbing his eyes. He was Robert Sugden, and what Robert wanted he got. Pushing himself out of bed, Robert smiled to himself, determined to get Aaron back.

 

After quickly showering and dressing, Robert wandered around the village looking for Aaron. He tried the cafe, the scrapyard, even the garage. However there was no sign of his dirty little grease monkey. He reluctantly looked up at the pub, he did not want to face Chas if she had seen Aaron last night. He had to see Aaron though. Jogging across the road, Robert snuck in the back door, quietly walking up the stairs. As he reached Aaron’s room, he took a deep breath before opening the door and entering. Closing the door behind him, he looked at Aaron, fast asleep, still wearing last night’s clothes. Robert walked closer to him, sitting on the side of the bed, waiting for Aaron to wake. 

 

As Aaron felt the bed shift, his eyes opened to find Robert. Quickly sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair, conscious of how bad he looked. His insecurity soon turned to anger.

 

“What you doing here? Thought we said all we needed to last night?” Aaron hissed.

 

Robert stared at him, “You didn’t come back, I waited up for you.”

 

Aaron laughed humourlessly. “You’re unbelievable. You really think I was going to crawl back in to your bed after last night.”

 

“You really think that badly of me? That I would flirt with some guy right in front of you? If you think I’m such an awful person why do you love me?” Robert said, his voice starting to rise.

 

“I don’t love you. I hate you. I hate what you’ve done to me.” Aaron shouted, his eyes falling to stare at the floor.

 

“You don’t love me?” Robert whispered.

 

Aaron refused to answer until Robert placed his hands on his face, forcing Aaron to look at him. “Do you love me?” Robert demanded.

 

Aaron knocked his hands away, furious with Robert. “Of course I do. You know I do. Does it make you feel better to know some pathetic lad loves everything about you? Don’t worry, I’m not going to cut myself if you walk away.”

 

“Oh poor Aaron. All you do is cry about how I’ve hurt you. Do you ever think about me? How do you think it feels that the one person I thought really knew me believes that I would happily sit in a bar flirting with a man? I can’t admit it okay, to myself, to anyone. The only man I’d kiss in a bar is you. Yes I was uncomfortable there, but I did it for you. And shouting outside about wanting someone better than me, don’t you care how that makes me feel? I love you and you tell me you want someone better.” Robert shouted, standing up from the bed.

 

Aaron stood to face him, looking up in to his eyes. “All you care about is yourself, you don’t care who you hurt as long as you’re happy.”

 

“I wish you were right Aaron, I wish I was still that selfish guy you first met but I’m not. You got in my head, pushed your way in to my heart and now you’re everything to me. I can’t be happy without you. But it’s not easy. You’re asking me to give up my life, my job, the only family I’ve ever known since my dad threw me out. You’re asking me to give it all up for you. But why? Why would I ever give it all up when you don’t trust me, you don’t believe in me.” Robert said, his voice shaking at the end as he turned his back to Aaron.

 

“You don’t get to do this Robert, turn this around. This is all you. You chose Chrissie, you chose me. But you can’t have us both. It’s me or her. I can’t do this anymore. I need you to choose me.” Aaron said, crumbling back on to the bed, pressing his hands against his eyes.

 

Robert looked back at Aaron, his heart breaking at his words. He moved over to kneel in front of Aaron, placing his hands on his face, stroking his tears away. “I do Aaron, I choose you. I love you, I’ll always choose you.” 

 

Aaron pulled Robert towards him, pressing his face in to his shoulder as he cried, letting Robert whisper his love for him in to his ear.

 

“It’s okay, I’m here. I love you.” Robert whispered, rocking Aaron in his arms.

 

Aaron lifted his head and pulled Robert towards him, their lips crashing together. Robert could taste Aaron’s tears in his mouth and tried to pull back to look at him, to make sure he was okay.

 

“Don’t stop, I need you, Robert.” Aaron whispered.

 

Robert pushed Aaron back on to the bed, gently. He kissed him, slowly, lovingly, holding Aaron’s hand in his own. Robert reached to pull Aaron’s t-shirt over his head, and kissed down his chest, stopping at his stomach. Aaron’s breath hitched as Robert lightly kissed each of his scars. Moving back up to Aaron’s face, Robert held himself above him, looking deeply in to Aaron’s eyes.

 

“I love you, Aaron Livesy.” Robert whispered. 

 

And as their lips crashed together, they lost themselves in each other.

 

Waking up in Aaron’s bed was different to waking up in his own bed. He felt more comfortable here, as if he could be himself, not as if he had to act like a perfect version of himself. He turned his head to the side and watched Aaron sleeping next to him. As he lay there he thought of what had passed between him and Aaron in this bed. They had had sex many times in lots of different places but never like this. Robert felt as if he had made love for the first time, as if this was what sex was supposed to be like, it felt like a promise of forever. 

 

Leaning over, he kissed Aaron’s head, stirring him from sleep. Aaron smiled, his eyes still closed. “Still here? Guess I can’t get rid of you.” Aaron joked.

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Robert whispered.

 

Aaron opened his eyes and stared at Robert, smiling. “That was ..”

 

Robert nodded, both of them unable to find the words to express the love they had shared. 

 

“Do you want some coffee?” Aaron asked.

 

Robert moved closer, wrapping his arms around Aaron’s waist. “I just want you to stay here with me.”

 

Aaron smiled. He loved this side of Robert. After sex, he always seemed more vulnerable, as if he was scared of giving himself to someone and then having them leave him. Aaron knew Robert often felt insecure, as if he didn’t understand how anyone could love him, love the real him. Aaron softly kissed him before letting Robert rest his head on his chest, slowly stroking his blonde hair. He allowed Robert this moment of closeness to show him that no matter how hard things got, no matter how much Robert disliked himself, Aaron would always be there to love him.


	6. Saturdays are for Stars and Sharing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert plans a second date with Aaron, but will it all go perfectly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really loved writing this chapter, let me know in the comments which day has been your favourite so far.
> 
> Thank you again for all the lovely comments and kudos, they are always appreciated. 
> 
> Warning: mentions of Aaron's self harm.

Eventually they'd had to return to Home Farm. Although Robert was aware of how uncomfortable Aaron felt there, due to the ever present feeling of Chrissie surrounding the house, it was the only place they could be alone. So Aaron pushed thoughts of Chrissie to the back of his mind, determined to enjoy the weekend with Robert. Aaron felt that they had turned a corner since they slept together in Aaron’s bed and he was sure that Robert would tell Chrissie that it was over between them when she returned. 

 

Robert was not so certain. Although he knew that he loved Aaron, he didn’t feel able to admit it to other people. This was a part of him that he wanted to keep secret; just between him and Aaron. But he also knew that it wasn’t fair to expect Aaron to hide away with him for the rest of their lives.

 

“We should go on another date.” Aaron suggested, as they ate breakfast together.

 

Robert raised his eyes to look at Aaron, unsure of what to say. He casually nodded, shrugging his shoulders. He knew what Aaron wanted. He wanted Robert to show off their relationship in public, even if it was just in front of a crowd of strangers. He just wasn’t sure if he was able to give Aaron what he wanted.

 

“Just an idea, mate.” Aaron backtracked, trying to show Robert that he didn’t care.

 

As Robert watched him, he could clearly see how much this meant to Aaron and he didn’t want to let him down.

 

“Go to work today, the scrapyard is suffering since our little holiday. And be home for 7, okay?” Robert said, smiling genuinely.

 

It was rare to earn one of Robert’s real smiles, as he often preferred his signature smirks, so Aaron found himself agreeing and smiling back. Moving over to Robert, Aaron kissed him before grabbing his coat and leaving for the scrapyard. Robert cleared away the breakfast plates, ideas running through his head for how he could make tonight special for Aaron. He knew expensive things wouldn’t impress Aaron so he couldn’t take him to a hotel or out for dinner. He needed tonight to be perfect, after their last date, he didn’t want it to end in a fight again. So Robert set to work, making everything as perfect as he could.

 

When Aaron arrived home at 7, the night sky was already dark but the air was still warm, just a gentle breeze blowing through the village. He shouted out Robert’s name to let him know that he was home, and hung his coat up. Robert walked through from the kitchen, a hesitant smile upon his face.

 

“Hey.” he said, looking at Aaron. “How was work?”

 

“Alright. But I..” Aaron began, pausing before he uttered the words he wanted to say, anticipating Robert’s reaction, “missed you.”

 

Aaron was relieved when Robert’s smile widened, as he knew Robert found it hard to be so open in the light of day. “So what are we doing?”

 

Robert moved forward taking Aaron’s hand, pulling him towards the door. “We’re going outside.”

 

Aaron frowned, confused, as Robert led him outside. They walked together quietly, until they reached the farm. Robert steered him to a private, secluded area where a blanket was set out, candles lit up around it. Although Aaron’s first thought was that Robert was still hiding him away, he allowed Robert to pull him down on the blanket. They lay side by side, Robert sliding his hand in to Aaron’s. Aaron lay quietly, waiting for Robert to speak. After a while he glanced over at Robert and saw him staring up at the night sky. He stroked his thumb across the back of Robert’s hand and Robert looked at him.

 

“This is where I used to come, when I was a kid. When it all got too much at home. When dad wouldn’t stop shouting, whenever he compared me to Andy. Whenever I got too jealous of my brother. This is where I came. I used to just lay here, looking up at the sky, all the stars up there. And I’d tell myself that I wasn’t alone because the stars were always there, they never left.” Robert whispered.

 

Aaron watched Robert as he talked, his eyes staring up at the sky. “I always felt like Andy was better than me, that dad loved him more. So I took what he had, toys when we were kids, then girls when we were older. Katie, Debbie. But I never loved them, just wanted to take them away from Andy. I just wanted him to feel a little bit of the loneliness I always felt inside. That loneliness never left me, not even when I left the village and found Chrissie.”

 

Finally Robert looked across at Aaron, staring in to his eyes. “You know, this is the first time I’ve lay here and not felt that loneliness. And that’s because of you. I’ve tried to fight it and I’ve tried to hide it. Lying to myself, telling myself this is just for fun. But the stars are still there and they’re never going away and that’s how my love is for you. It’s just there, and it’s never going away.”

 

Aaron pressed himself against Robert, letting Robert pull him in to his arms, and kissed him. “I love you, Robert Sugden.”

 

As Aaron kissed him, he tried to express everything that he knew Robert wouldn’t want him to say aloud, like how much he appreciated Robert showing him a part of himself that he would never show anyone else. Like how no matter what Robert said or did after this weekend, Aaron could never stop loving him. This was a forever love, the kind that never ends. 

 

Robert pulled back from their kiss and just held Aaron, hugging him. Aaron let himself be held and whispered his words against Robert’s shoulder. “When I met Jackson, I just felt so ashamed of what I was feeling. I never wanted to be gay, even tried to hide it by being with Victoria.”

 

Aaron felt Robert chuckle and smiled.

 

“Reminding me that my sister had you first?” Robert teased.

 

Aaron pulled back to look in to Robert’s eyes. “Nobody had me, not like you’ve got me. You’re it for me, the always, the forever, the everything.”

 

The cover of darkness made it easier for them to whisper these words to each other, hidden away from everyone and everything. Just them, alone.

 

“After Jackson died, I thought I’d never be happy again. I thought I’d just keep hurting myself forever, hiding it from everyone. Too ashamed to even look at the scars, knowing I did them. Whenever I had sex, I always kept my top on or the guys just backed off, scared of what I’d done. But that first time with you, you pulled my t-shirt off before I even had time to say no. And I saw you look at them, but when you looked at my face again, I knew you didn’t just see the scars, you saw me. And you still wanted me.” Aaron whispered, stray tears falling down his face.

 

Robert kissed his tears away, running his hand under Aaron’s t-shirt so that it rested against his scars. “Don’t cry, this is supposed to be happy. I must be so bad at giving us a good date.” Robert joked.

 

“I am happy. I’m the happiest and the safest I’ve ever been, here with you.” Aaron whispered.

 

“I’m sorry for..” Robert began.

 

But Aaron stopped him, “Don’t apologise for anything. Whatever’s happened, we’re here now. And it’s exactly where we’re supposed to be.”

 

Robert nodded and moved closer to kiss Aaron. And as they made love in Robert’s childhood hide away, they realised that they had never felt closer than they did right then, on that stolen night. 

 

When they awoke a few hours later, the sunrise showing them that it was early morning, both of them felt happier than they had in a long time. Robert groaned as he tried to sit up.

 

“Remind me to bring a thicker blanket next time. Sleeping on the ground isn’t comfortable.” he muttered.

 

Aaron laughed, stretching himself. “It wasn’t that bad.”

 

Robert looked at him, disbelieving, “That’s because you slept on me all night!”

 

Aaron laughed again, leaning over to wrap his arms around Robert. “You weren’t complaining, mate.”

 

Robert smiled, kissing Aaron. “Was it perfect?”

 

“The sex? It was okay, I guess.” Aaron teased.

 

Robert hit him lightly, “I meant the date.”

 

Aaron looked at Robert, so in love with everything about him. He knew Robert needed reassurance that he had done the right thing in sharing so much with Aaron. He needed reassurance that Aaron wouldn’t leave him. 

 

“It wasn’t perfect, we’re not perfect. We’re both a little messed up with everything we’ve been through. But last night, whenever we’re together, we’re imperfectly perfect.” Aaron whispered before kissing Robert.


	7. Sundays are for Sorry and Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Robert and Aaron's week draws to a close, will Robert find the courage to tell Chrissie the truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's took the time to read this fic and left kudos and comments. I really appreciate it. 
> 
> I'm pretty proud to be finishing this story and I'm glad I managed to update a new chapter everyday.
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments, I'm sure there might be a few people disappointed with the ending, but I hope most of you enjoy it!
> 
> Warning: mentions of Aaron's self harm.

Robert awoke the following morning, feeling happy and content, until he realised that today was the the day Chrissie would return. He rolled over, pressing his face in to the pillow and accidentally hit Aaron.

 

“Hey.” Aaron muttered, sleepily.

 

Robert grunted, unable to put into words what he was thinking about. He knew bringing Chrissie up in conversation with Aaron would spoil their last day together. He still wasn’t sure if he could tell Chrissie, and he couldn’t share that with Aaron. He glanced over at Aaron, his eyes still closed, and Robert’s heart ached as he imagined Aaron not sleeping next to him again. He moved closer, wrapping his arms around Aaron, resting his head against his shoulder.

 

Aaron kissed him lightly on the head. “Hey. I’m going to go for a run.”

 

Robert groaned, “Let’s just stay in bed, or let me make you breakfast.”

 

As Aaron laughed, making his excuses, he moved out of the bed, getting ready for his run. Still lying in bed, Robert’s thoughts drifted to Chrissie. He knew she’d take everything away from him if he told her; his job, the money. He’d worked tirelessly to make the White’s business a success, if he told Chrissie, he’d be throwing away everything he’d worked for.

 

On the other hand, if he didn’t tell Chrissie, he knew Aaron would leave him, tired of being Robert’s little secret. He couldn’t bear the thought of not being with Aaron, not being able to kiss him, or even just talk to him. As he pondered his situation, he felt his phone ring next to him and reached over to read a text from Chrissie.

 

‘We’ll be home tonight at 7. Miss you.’

 

Robert’s fingers automatically typed a response, ‘Missed you too love’. His heart hurt at how easily he could say those things after just kissing Aaron. Maybe he was just a bad person, maybe he didn’t deserve Aaron or Chrissie. Maybe Aaron would be better off without him. Forcing himself out of bed, he began to tidy the room, pulling the bed sheets off to change them, his mind made up.

 

As Aaron enjoyed his morning run, he smiled to himself as he thought of all that had happened this week. He had never been so sure of Robert’s love for him, he was certain that Robert would tell Chrissie when she returned. After all they’d said and shared, Robert couldn’t go back to Chrissie. Aaron knew that Robert could never be happy with her. As he ran through the village, he thought of how happy he’d become since meeting Robert. They’d had hard times, times when Aaron had hurt himself because of Katie, but Aaron knew that it was Robert who had kept him going. Robert was the reason for him to get up in the morning.

 

Arriving back at Home Farm, Aaron saw Robert tidying up the house, placing fresh groceries in the fridge. 

 

“Are you making us lunch?” Aaron smiled.

 

Robert jumped, surprised by Aaron’s arrival. He stared at him, “Chrissie’s back tonight.”

 

Aaron nodded, he wasn’t heartless. He felt sorry for Chrissie, sorry that he had come between their marriage. And he knew how much both him and Robert had hurt Chrissie and Lachlan, but he couldn’t walk away from his soulmate. 

 

“What will you tell her?” Aaron asked, quietly.

 

As Robert stayed silent, Aaron’s heart began to beat quickly. “You are telling her, aren’t ya?”

 

Robert’s refusal to answer told Aaron all he needed to know. But as he looked at Robert standing there, he wanted to force him to say it. He moved closer, so he was right in front of Robert, staring straight in to his eyes.

 

“Are you going to tell her about us?” Aaron demanded. 

 

Robert closed his eyes. “Don’t, Aaron.” Robert whispered.

 

Aaron moved away, leaning against the breakfast counter, struggling to breathe. 

 

“Everything you said. Last night on the farm, that day in my room. You didn’t mean any of it, did you?” Aaron whispered.

 

“I did, I meant it all.” Robert said, longing to pull Aaron around to face him but not daring to touch him.

 

“You didn’t, because if you did you wouldn’t be able to go back to Chrissie after all of that. You wouldn’t be able to sleep with her, after making love to me. You wouldn’t be able to laugh with her, knowing you’re only happy with me.” Aaron shouted.

 

“I can’t, Aaron.” Robert whispered.

 

Aaron looked at him, Robert looked empty. As if all the fight had left him. He felt himself losing Robert as the seconds ticked by, the distance between them growing. Aaron’s anger soon turned to desperation. 

 

“Please, Robert. Please don’t do this.” Aaron begged.

 

He knew he looked pathetic but he couldn’t bear to be without Robert, he couldn’t be happy without him. He needed him, more than ever. 

 

Robert closed his eyes, unable to watch how he had broken the man he loved. As Aaron begged him, his heart ached, longing to comfort Aaron but he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t face what the village would think, he couldn’t lose everything he had worked for, he couldn’t accept who he was. Pushing away his feelings, he opened his eyes and forced himself to look at Aaron.

 

He reached up, stroking Aaron’s tears away. Aaron’s eyes closing as he leant in to Robert’s touch. “Please.” he whispered.

 

“Aaron, listen, okay? Just listen.” Robert said.

 

As Aaron nodded silently, Robert continued. “I can’t, I’m weak. I’m not strong like you. I can’t leave Chrissie, my job, my house. This is who I am, it’s everything I’ve worked for. Robert Sugden, business man. I can’t lose that. I don’t know who I am without all this. And I know that I love you, everything I said I meant. Part of me just wanted to pretend this meant nothing, to just watch you go, hating me. But I can’t. I can’t have you hating me, when I love you so much. I just can’t be with you, not the way you want me too.”

 

“You can be strong, I’ll help you. I promise. I’ll be there and I’ll never leave you. You might not know who you are but I do. And I love you without the big house, and the fancy job. I just love you, only you.” Aaron pleaded, tears running down his face.

 

“I’m sorry.” Robert whispered, pressing his lips against Aaron’s. Holding him close for the final time. 

 

Aaron looked at him as he pulled back, his eyes pleading with Robert to change his mind. But Robert slightly shook his head, so Aaron picked up his bag and left. As he stood outside Home Farm, he looked up at the large estate house and realised that Robert would never leave behind all that for a life with him. Heartbroken, Aaron made his way home to the pub. Although he tried to sneak inside to the safety of his bedroom, he was stopped in the hallway by his mum, Chas.

 

“What’s wrong, love?” Chas said, noticing the state of Aaron.

 

Aaron shook his head, unable to speak. And as a sob escaped his lips, he allowed himself to be held by Chas, he allowed himself to cry for all that he knew would never be his.

 

After Aaron had left, Robert had collapsed on to the sofa, finally allowing himself to cry. He wished he could be a better man, the kind of man Aaron deserved, but he couldn’t. He knew what it was like to have to start a life with nothing, he’d had to when his dad thew him out. He couldn’t face the uncertainty again. The uncertainty of people’s reactions, the uncertainty of whether Aaron would one day see the real him and leave him. He had left Aaron because he knew he could never survive Aaron choosing to leave him. Wiping his eyes, Robert took a deep breath, once again putting his defences up, accepting that he was meant to be alone. He wasn’t meant for happiness. 

 

Chrissie arrived home at 7, as promised, and she immediately threw herself in Robert’s arms. He allowed himself a moment to appreciate the safety and comfort she provided. He held on to her, even as she laughed and joked that she should go away more often if it made him act like this. Robert laughed back, preparing dinner for the three, all the time feeling hollow inside. He chatted to Lachlan about the trip, talked business with Lawrence, all the time feeling nothing. He had sex with Chrissie, heard her breathing evenly as she fell asleep, and lay there looking up at the ceiling, all the time feeling empty. 

 

As Aaron lay in bed at the pub, his heart aching, he thought of Robert. He wanted to hate him but he knew he never could. He understood why Robert wouldn’t leave Chrissie, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. He knew Robert was scared, scared of the uncertain life he’d have with Aaron. Aaron just wished that Robert loved him enough to try. Aaron felt the scars under his t-shirt, imaging the relief the pain brought him. But as he thought back on what Robert had said, he realised that Robert was right. Aaron was strong, and Robert had shown him just how strong he could be. Robert had shown him that he was more than just his scars, he was someone that Robert Sugden thought was worth loving. Wiping his eyes, Aaron rolled over, waiting for sleep to take him. He knew it wasn’t over with Robert, what they had was a love that would never end. So as Aaron drifted slowly to sleep, for the first time in a long time he felt whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, let me know your thoughts and opinions in the comments or any ideas for my next fic.  
> I'm already working on a new two part fic for my Robert Sugden's Life in Numbers series. It will be called 'One Night; Two Hearts.' I'll be trying to post the first chapter tomorrow so check that out, and if you haven't already then go and read my first fic, Robert's Sugden's Five Stages of Grief.


End file.
